Relationships are hard, and unfortunately, many of them aren’t healthy. A codependent relationship is one where the couple enables each other’s bad behaviors. The classic example is the relationship between an alcoholic and a partner who makes excuses for them, instead of encouraging them to get help. What are some signs of codependency?
#1: It’s very hard for you to say no to your partner
You are always putting your partner’s needs before your own and whenever they ask you for something, you say yes, even if it interferes with other plans or it’s something they could do for themselves. This could include running out of work early for errands, breaking plans with other friends to be with your partner, and always doing what your partner wants to do, even if you aren’t a big fan.
#2: You need constant reassurance about your partner’s feelings for you
Insecurity is a common thread among codependent couples. You are always wondering if your partner still loves you, and feel a lot of anxiety about it. You need them to always tell you or show you that they still care, to the point where they feel like nothing they do can convince you.
#3: You feel compelled to stay with your partner, even if you aren’t happy
Codependent couples have trouble breaking up, even if neither one is happy with the relationship. There’s usually a lot fear involved, including the fear of being alone or breaking your partner’s heart. You set aside your other priorities and needs, and the relationship continues to bring you both down.
#4: You always need to know what your partner is doing and thinking
Codependent people are controlled by the thoughts and actions of others, especially their romantic partners. They are highly-reactive, which means they base their decisions and emotions on their partner. If you feel the need to always know where your partner is, what they’re doing, and what they’re feeling and thinking about everything, you are struggling with codependency.